Opinions on internet privacy
The philosopher: Two women stand talking to each other. Woman 1: "Privacy" is an impractical way to think about data in a digital world so unlike the one in which our soci- Woman 2: SO BORED.
The crypto nut: A figure stands behind another sitting at a desk, who is working a computer. Sitting figure: My data is safe behind six layers of symmetric and public-key algorithms. Standing figure: What data is it? Sitting figure: Mostly me emailing with people about cryptography.
The conspiricist: A figure stands talking to a woman. Figure: These leaks are just the tip of the iceberg. There’s a warehouse in Utah where the NSA has the *entire* iceberg. I don’t know how they got it there.
The nihilist: A woman stands, addressing the ’camera’. Woman: Joke’s on them. Gathering all this data on me as if anything I do means anything.
The exhibitionist: Two official-looking figures are looking at a console. One is sitting; another is standing behind the chair. Console screen: Mmmm, I sure hope the NSA isn’t watching me bite into these juicy strawberries!! Oops, I dropped some on my shirt! Better take it off. Google, are you there? Google, this lotion feels soooo good. Operator: Um.
The sage: Beret guy is sitting with a friend at a restaurant table. Beret guy: I don’t know or care what data *anyone* has about me. Data is imaginary. This burrito is real.
Title text: I’m the Philosopher until someone hands me a burrito.